Big Man Tabasco Sauce (marty_mcfly) wrote in bastardpeople,
Big Man Tabasco Sauce
marty_mcfly
bastardpeople

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Consider Yo Ass Keeled!

While sitting in one of the single seats up against the side of the bus, I noticed everyone's attention turn towards a red-eyed asian man in a baseball cap. He was midway through the bus when he turned around suddenly, walked over to someone I couldn't see, made a fist, and punched the unseen person in the face. No one on the bus said a word as he made his way to the back of the bus and sat down. I think we were all too speechless. Save for a lone woman in a purple warm up suit. The first thing she said was "UH-UH, NOT ON MY BUS!". She got up and walked to the back to confront the hitter. He stood up abruptly and started going off in a language I couldn't understand and she couldn't either. But this didn't stop her.

"HE WAS JUST SAYIN' HI TO YO ASS MUTHAFUCKA! I KILL YO MUTHAFUCKIN ASS YOU UNDERSTAN ME?!"

She looked full of rage as she tapped him in the chest and said, "YO ASS IS DEAD BOY!".

And with that she went back to her seat. I was expecting the return to her seat to be filled with applause. But she was still the only one talking. When she made it back to her original seat she struck up a conversation with some people that appeared to be friends of hers. The whole conversation was about the man in the back. It was her theory that "the muthafucka can't hold his liquor, you know what I'm sayin? And he be in a heap o trouble now".

After awhile my attention went back to the stifling heat, and I stopped thinking about why someone would hit another person in the face. I agreed with the woman that it could only lead to a "heap o trouble".

Fifteen minutes later I was listening to someone's conversation about "gettin it done propa" when a familiar voice yelled, "YO DEAD SHIT HEAD! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! I KNOW YO ADDRESS MUTHAFUCKA!". I looked over to see the purple track suited woman and two asian men gesticulating and swearing wildly at the dude she had talked to earlier. He sat stonefaced in the back and acted as if nothing was going on. Someone leaned over and I heard them say, "Look's like you're in trouble". "Damn straight", I thought to myself. A heap of trouble.
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